How to Quiet a Busy Mind

Our face-paced culture, coupled with digital over-stimulation, yield a recipe for processing information constantly – even in the middle of the night. We have both tools and resources at our fingertips to slow down our minds, but it takes practice, patience and persistence. What can be done to slow it down?

Although many suggestions exist, here are a couple of research proven methods to slow down our thoughts:

Quiet the Busy Mind

Andy Puddicombe is a Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert that says ‘all it takes is 10 mindful minutes‘ to calm a wandering mind. As he indicates, stress leads to a whizzing mind, directly leading to unhappiness. He advocates 10 minutes a day of meditation, stepping back and letting emotions come and go, as a form of prevention for feeling anxious and overwhelmed. Through meditation, you gain focus, calm and clarity. He is the co-founder of Headspace, a guided meditation online program and app, designed to deliver daily meditation in order to reduce stress and calm the mind as well as many other benefits.
HeartMath: The HeartMath system is an innovative approach to regulating stress and improving well-being through offering both technology and training options. This system is designed to manage your emotions through harnessing your heart rhythms. The unique emWave technology measures Heart Rate Variability as a response to emotions. Ultimately, this brings us back to the importance of our breath in managing stress.
Here is an exercise to help you become present. With a curious mind, draw your attention to what you physically sense, from the inside out, below your neck. Leaving aside judgment, evaluation, or interpretation.
- Take a few moments to notice how your breath rises and falls in your chest and belly. Where do you feel the breath? What’s the temperature in your nose, throat and chest? Where is there pressure as you breath? Where is there ease?
- Bring your fingertips to your face, and with very light touch, slowly make tiny circles on your cheeks, on your forehead, on your chin. Use as little pressure as possible. How do the different areas of your face feel with this contact? What subtle or large sensations do you experience in your fingertips as they glide along your face?
- Slowly move your tongue around your mouth, especially at the roof, and get curious about how various spots feel with the contact. Do any positions make you feel a tickling sensation? What contact spots most wake up your mouth?
- How do you feel?
- So as you do these simple explorations, do you feel a bit more awake, energized, alert, and clearheaded? If so, you’ve discovered what research is confirming: That focusing your attention on your sensations is a simple way to dial down the mental chatter. If you’re not feeling very much, please be patient with yourself. Many people are cut off from their bodies, and need the time to get back in touch with our senses.
Schedule a worry time
- Do you have a busy life? Are you so busy throughout your day that you have the chance to think about what is happening in your life only when you get into bed, a place that is quiet, dark and free of distractions?
- When you are half asleep, you are not at your problem-solving best, and may be even more prone to imagining unlikely disasters and worrying about things over which you have little control. The solution? Problem-solve intentionally at a time when you are better able to generate good solutions. Give yourself a time to address worries earlier in the day so bedtime isn’t the only available time to think about the day’s events.
  If you do that, worries about unfinished business will be less likely to follow you to bed. Start by scheduling a time in the early evening when you can have 20 to 30 minutes of uninterrupted time. On a sheet of paper (or electronic document), draw a vertical line down the middle. At the top of the left column write “Worries or Concerns.” Label the right column “Next Steps” or “Solutions.”
- Is there something on your mind right now that may bother you later? Do you have a problem for which you have not yet thought of a solution? Once you have recorded each worry, try to think of several possible solutions for each problem. Then, focus on the best “next” step you can take. For example, if your worry is that you have a bill that is due soon and you are not sure whether it was paid, ultimately the solution is to pay it if it remains outstanding; however, there are steps that you should write down. For example, you will need to look on the computer or wherever you track your bill payments to see whether the bill was paid.
- This is just a small step, but it makes the process more Breaking a solution or a goal down into smaller steps increases the likelihood you will move toward it. You may find that accomplishing the first step inspires you to move to the next step, helping you meet your goal. If you have several unmet goals, you may be prone to feeling anxious, frustrated or even depressed. Try breaking them down and working on them in this way, and you may feel better.
- You may choose to work on one worry per day, or use your worry time to generate a “to-do” list to solve mini-worries. Simply take time to work on whatever problems come up.
- When a solution cannot be immediately pursued, thinking about solutions and making plans for different scenarios may help you feel less stuck. If the problem is out of your control, however, constructive solutions are not realistic. In this case, it helps to just write about the problem and accept that a solution is not within your control. Let’s say you are looking for a job. You have worked on your CV, and done everything else you possibly can. At this point, things are out of your control and it is best to focus on taking care of yourself so that you maintain energy and optimism until one of your job prospects pays off. Sometimes reassuring yourself is the next best step to resolving a worry.
- If the worries persist, do some free writing about them. When your worry time is up, fold the paper in half and put it away. Reassure yourself that you have done the best you can do for now. If the worry intrudes into your nighttime routine, remind yourself you have dealt with the problem and there is nothing that you can do about it now, when it is time to sleep.
Write about your concerns at bedtime
Some people find that, despite their earlier evening problem solving, they worry again at bedtime. Writing before you go to sleep may help you let these things go and fall asleep more readily. This strategy allows you to organize your thoughts about something that is on your mind, process it, and then let it go.

As before, set aside 20 to 30 minutes. Start by writing down thoughts, concerns, or simply things on your mind. Openly explore your deepest feelings about matters that bother you. Some people find it easier to write openly if they plan to shred their writing later. Do not censor yourself or tell yourself that your thoughts are too “silly”; whatever you write about is okay. Once you have completely explored the topic, put your paper away. Do this whenever you find yourself worried before or in bed.

Occupy your mind
Racing thoughts and a tense body make restful sleep difficult. Try this: When you reach the end of this paragraph, close your eyes and try not to think about a banana split. Do not imagine the cold ice cream. Do not imagine the scent of banana. Do not think of the chocolate syrup drizzle. Do not picture how the sweet juice bursts out of the maraschino cherry as you bite into it. Also do not think, I will not think of banana splits. After all, thinking of the absence of a banana split also constitutes thinking of banana splits.

You get the picture. The answer is to find alternatives to “stopping” unwanted thoughts from occurring.

Have you ever been told to count sheep to help you fall asleep? Try this experiment right now. Sit comfortably and close your eyes. Imagine a field with a fence. What does your fence look like? What colour is it? How high is it? Is it made of wood? Does it stretch the entire vista of your mind? Or is it only one or two sections of fence? Once you have a clear vision of what the fence looks like, imagine a sheep approaching it and jumping effortlessly and slowly over it. As the sheep’s front feet touch the grass on the other side, a second sheep jumps with exactly the same height and velocity. As the second sheep’s feet touch the ground on the other side, a third sheep begins the jump. Watch a fourth sheep jump. And a fifth. And a sixth. All of your sheep jump with the same form, speed, height and arc. And then a seventh sheep jumps. And an eighth. A ninth and a tenth. Then open your eyes and read on.

What did you notice? Some people find the monotony of this visual experiment relaxing and notice only the image of the sheep. Others are distracted by thoughts: “This would never work at night” or “This is boring.” Or perhaps you thought of other things.

What does the sheep exercise tell us? Engaging your mind by picturing something occupies space in your busy mind. However, it also tells us that if the picture is boring, you may become distracted by unrelated thoughts. There is a strategy here: Engage your mind in an image that will compete with other thoughts.

Challenge worries about sleep
You may have already realized that thinking about being sleepless makes you anxious, which makes sleep more elusive. One way to interrupt this cycle is to challenge the idea that being sleepless is a disaster. When you’re lying awake, do any of these thoughts occur?

This is horrible!
• I can’t take it!
• I need to get to sleep now, or I’m going to have a horrible day.

But what is so inherently bad about being awake? Imagine two people, Anne and Janet, each with a different reaction to being awake at 2 a.m. Anne thinks: Oh my God-it’s 2 a.m. If I don’t fall asleep within the next 20 minutes, I am going to lose it. Janet thinks: Ugh, it’s 2 a.m.-I might as well go watch television rather than lie here awake. For whom are the next 20 minutes more likely to be pleasant-Anne or Janet? Who is under less pressure to sleep? Catastrophizing about sleeplessness makes you more upset in the moment and it keeps you awake longer.

One answer is to change what being awake at night means to you. Try this experiment the next time you are awake: Think back to a time when you were awake at the exact same moment you find yourself awake now, when it was actually pleasant. This may be a time when you were out with friends. It may be when your child was born. It may be when you were with someone you love. How would you finish the following sentence? “My best memory of a time when I was awake in the middle of the night is…” If you do not have such a memory, imagine one. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Allow the pleasant memory or image to unfold, watching it as if it were a movie projected on the insides of your eyelids. Take in all the scenery. Where were you? Were you with someone? When did this happen? What were you doing? Remember the feeling you had at the time. How do you feel now? Take a deep breath and scan your body. If you notice anxious thoughts about sleeplessness, let them be, and return to your pleasant memory.

Being awake in the middle of the night does not have to be unpleasant. A poor night’s sleep does not guarantee feeling horrible the next day. There are times you will have a good night’s sleep and feel groggy the next day, and times you will sleep horribly yet feel surprisingly well. Remind yourself that although being awake can feel unpleasant, you want to avoid adding to the unpleasantness by becoming anxious about it.

Don’t relive the worst part of your day
Worrying and rumination are often partners in crime in keeping you awake at night. Worrying tends to involve future events; for example, you may worry that you will get fired because of your sleep problems. Rumination tends to focus on past events; you may be thinking about something you said at work and wishing you had said something different. On the surface, figuring out what went wrong and why may seem helpful in preventing similar disasters in the future, but ultimately both worry and rumination lead to feeling worse, and can become difficult to control.

Remind yourself that this type of thinking is unhelpful. The thoughts that occupy our minds at night rarely lead to breakthroughs – we’re too tired for that to happen. Instead, we’re ruminating and thinking ourselves in circles. Sleep is when our minds synthesize everything we’ve learned and considered in a day. That step is often necessary to lead to more productive ideas. Gently remind yourself that your thoughts will be more helpful if you rest on them first. This shouldn’t be a judgmental, stressful sort of thought that increases the pressure to get to sleep. Take a deliberate vacation from your rumination. How?

First, focus your attention on your breathing-the sounds and feeling of air moving into your nose, warming your nasal passages and travelling down into your chest.

Now focus on the sounds and feeling of air being moved upward and out of your body. If your attention wanders, do not judge yourself; that’s normal. Instead, gently bring your attention back to your breath.

Savor Drifting Off
Noticing that you’re close to sleep, but not there yet can prompt thoughts of, “Come on, get to sleep already” or “Why am I not asleep yet.” These thoughts take most people right out of relaxation and even further from sleep. I’ve come to appreciate those sorts of “twilight” moments by focusing on how good it feels to be so relaxed and almost asleep. Remind yourself that almost asleep is far more restorative for my body and mind than having my thoughts racing. Sure, sleep would be ideal, but being close to it is still pretty good.
Recite Something – Anything!
Mentally recite a song, poem, prayer, mantra or a monologue you memorized in school 20 years ago. The goal is to occupy your mind with something non-taxing, so don’t stress about remembering the item exactly. Try reciting the lyrics to songs. Move from one onto another song for example“99 Bottles of Beer,” to the “The Ants Go Marching”
Put Your Thoughts Away
No matter how much you obsess about your thoughts at night, they’ll almost certainly still be there in the morning. Sometimes it helps to remind yourself of this, other times it only gets you more worked up. An indirect approach can be more effective. Imagine putting your thoughts away in a closet outside the bedroom and shutting the door.
Another useful technique is to tell yourself, “My thoughts don’t need me right now.” This is again a reminder that the thoughts will still be there when I’m able to attend to them.
Write Down Your To-Dos
If something is nagging at you, writing it down gets it out of your mind so you can return to the next day. This recommendation graces many lists of sleep advice. Normally writing in the dark renders the note illegible. Try getting out of bed and making a list at the dining table. If the topic is weighty enough you need to be able to read it in the morning.
Alphabet Relaxation
Reciting each letter of the alphabet three times keeps your mind occupied, but doesn’t require so much concentration that it keeps you awake. The idea is to slow down your mind, so you don’t want to rush through like a kid who has just mastered the alphabet. Recite each letter as if it were echoing and in the same cadence as a bell tower going gong-gong-gong. As you get closer to sleep you forget what letter comes next in the alphabet. It really doesn’t matter as long as your mind is occupied.
Progressive Relaxation
A variety of techniques are used for progressive relaxation, but the basic idea is always the same. Start with your head or your feet and slowly work through all the muscles in your body, tensing groups of muscles, then releasing them.

There is no magical solution to quieting your busy mind. It is important to try some things out and see what works for you. Hopefully one of the solutions mentioned here will work for you. It is important to keep trying, sometimes different solutions work at different times. Don’t give up. You will find something that works for you.